You’ve got to give it to him; he knew a thing or two about life, old Emerson. Way before the days of "feeling the fear and doing it anyway", Ralph Waldo Emerson was claiming that the key to a fulfilling life was conquering your fears.

Whilst we often think that much of our life is out of our control, that we may have just been dealt a duff hand, what really holds us back is fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of inadequacy, the list is endless.

But actually facing our fears? Why on earth would we want to put ourselves in a position where we are scared if it is not entirely necessary? By nature, we mere mortals survive by avoiding pain. Fear is not a pleasant emotion, we have enough to be afraid of in life without putting ourselves in a position of fear through choice. It’s often easier just to stay as we are, try to control our environments and never face what it is that we are truly afraid of.

For over 30 years, I avoided dogs after a nasty experience when I was a toddler. My fear was that all dogs were vicious, they were all going to attack me, and it was, therefore, the best strategy to avoid them altogether.

A prime example of how one experience, one recalled memory, can create an illusion of how life is. False Evidence Appearing Real.

Of course, all dogs are not vicious. Yet it took placing myself in a situation with a dog (a very lovely labrador puppy called Nelson), safe in the hands of his gentle owner, for me to start to create new, more pleasurable experiences. Little by little, I have built my confidence so that I now don’t assume that every dog is bad, and they are creatures to be avoided. In fact, the feeling of achievement when I have stepped way outside my comfort zone has spurred me on to take even bigger steps, and I now find myself being persuaded to get a dog of my own.

I believe that it is exactly that feeling that Emerson is talking about when he talks of the secret of life. To push ourselves beyond what we feel we are capable of, to take a risk and realise we are more powerful than we ever imagined, can have the most incredible impact on how we approach the rest of our lives.

Being led by fear can paralyse us. We stay in situations where we are unhappy because we fear the unknown, and we fear the uncertainty of a new life. We hold ourselves back from achieving our goals for fear of failure. We deny ourselves new pleasurable experiences through fear that we are not "good enough".

By taking one fear at a time and tackling it head-on, we find that our "I can’t"s turn into "I can"s, and we create a feeling of empowerment, of self-confidence that makes us more able to cope with some of the challenges that life throws at us. We’re always stronger that we think we are, and knowing that you have had the strength to overcome adversity will help you live a life less crippled by fear.

When I see the women at "bootcamp", who have been afraid of heights almost their whole life, abseil off a 50 ft bridge, I realise just how much of a life-changing experience this is, and how powerful the process of conquering your fears. Of course, there are tears, there are moments where they consider opting out, but it’s only when they take the plunge, trust the process and truly let go, that they feel the exhilirating sense of freedom that makes many want to repeat it for a second time!

The secret is recognising the fear, asking whether it is real or imagined, and making the choice as to whether you are going to let it rule your life. Fear can make decisions for you if you let it. Most of our present day fears are delusions – distorted ways of looking at ourselves, and the world around us. If we let fear control us, we shut out so many of life’s rich experiences. If we let fear rule our decisions, we may never give that fulfilling relationship a chance, we may never find our dream job, and never know what true freedom feels like.

However, if we learn to control our mind – the source of all our fears – we can reduce and even eliminate these delusions. Suddenly, we find ourselves no longer the victim, but the master of our own lives, all our self-imposed boundaries being broken down. Suddenly, a whole world of exciting possibilities opens up, many of the anxieties dissipate and we can get on with living the life we were meant for.

I’m still scared of many things, but I’m starting to think Emerson may be onto something, so I’m going to give it a whirl.