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Quietening the busy mind |
| Posted on Jun 06 2009 |
Quietening The Busy Mind
by Gillie Sutherland
November 5th was Stress Awareness Day in the UK - an ironic name, I thought,considering that most of the nation seemed completely unaware of it. There could be a number of reasons behind this, perhaps someone decided that there were more important things going on at the moment, like the ubiquitous "credit crunch".
Yet it's now, more than ever, that we need to be thinking about stress, and the impact that it may be having on us - our health, our relationships, and our general wellbeing. There is nothing more unsettling and stress-inducing than when we are experiencing feelings of insecurity, instability, and uncertainty. It is in those times that we need to ensure that we are managing these emotions effectively, and that we are adopting our own strategies for making sure that it isn't having a detrimental effect on us.
More and more, I am meeting people whose lives are being affected by stress, and I believe it is one of the most threatening killers in our society, and it needs to be addressed. Much of the problem is that many people are under a constant pressure to achieve, to have more, be more, striving for an image of perfection, which is actually an illusion, thinking it will make them happy. What is lost sight of is what is most important, which is the here and now, and the aspects of life which will really bring us fulfillment. Living day to day in stress, on a treadmill we feel we can't get off of, is that what life is really about? It kills our health, our relationships, our energy, and most of all, our spirit.
A few years back a study revealed that in cultures where people are living more simple and basic lives, with value placed on the family, a sense of community, and attending to our more essential needs, the level of perceived satisfaction with their lives is actually higher that in more developed and affluent countries. Maybe this credit crunch had to happen? Maybe we needed to go back to basics, take stock and appreciate what we have. After all, with 80% of the nation dissatisfied with their lives, and an increasing number of people reporting feelings of depression and anxiety, this is reaching national epidemic proportions.
It reminds me of a great saying by Dale Carnegie, one of the pioneers in the personal development movement,
"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get".
Of course, the idea of success, and being successful, will always be appealing, however, it is essential to question just what success means to us. For me, having made a fortune, by having trampled on everyone that stood in my way, having neglected family and friends "chasing the pound" is just not my idea of success. I often think about what I would like to be said about me at my funeral (dark, I know), but that tells me what kind of life I want to be living right now, and most importantly, what kind of person I want to be. Being one big ball of stress and negative energy, wandering around with a dark cloud over me, dumping my "stuff" on those around me, will not make me proud of myself.
It's difficult though, isn't it, managing the madness going around us? There are going to be challenging times, we know that for certain about life. However, if on a day-to-day basis, our most regular state of mind is one of negative stress, then how are we going to cope when the **** hits the fan, as it always does? We won't , is the answer. At some point, carrying around all that stress is going to take it's toll.
This is why managing our stress on a daily basis is essential to us. We need strategies that work positively for us, instead of stressing us further. Look at what your current strategies may be for coping with stress. You may not have been aware of them until now. Maybe you are using alcohol, smoking, food, shopping, even watching TV. These are commonly used "feeling fixers", they make us feel good in the short-term to escape the feeling that we are overwhelmed, exhausted, anxious, or just suffering from an overly busy mind.
The problem is that they don't work. Maybe in the short-term, you'll enjoy the escapism and it seems like quite a pleasant distraction, but the next morning you'll be right back to square one. Your mind is full to it's limit, it's telling you it can't take any more being put in for now. It's screaming out to you to empty it, not fill it with more "stuff". Contrary to popular belief, television is not actually an effective way to switch off. All you are doing is switching the focus to something else, but still cramming the mind with more information.
Imagine the mind is a water glass. When the glass is full of water, adding more water to it will make it overflow, or at the very least have you constantly worried it's going to spill over. You need to empty some out before you try to add more.
A great way to do this is through taking regular "time-out", every day, and preferably alone.The greatest men and women of all time practised solitude. There's a good reason why Buddhists are so chilled out - they practise meditation on a regular basis. Now I'm not saying you need to go and find your own chant, but finding a way to clear your mind, on your own will have a huge impact on your life. Going out for a walk in the park at lunchtime, taking a candlelit bath after work, just kicking back and remembering a time when you were most at ease, and taking yourself back there - just small things that will make a big difference
Start off slowly, just 10 minutes a day to start, and build up gradually to 20 or 30 minutes of complete solitude. Relax and watch the magic unfold as the answers to your questions appear as if out of nowhere. Watch the impact it has on your life. Even if it seems difficult at first, it's merely the adjustment to a new habit, and after two weeks, you'll find it is a part of your life, that may even replace some of your less healthy habits. Being more mindful will have a positive impact on your whole life. You will communicate better, have more energy, and you may even find yourself making better decisions, as the mind is more able to cope.
Your mind is the most powerful commodity you have. Treat it with respect, and give it a break sometimes.
For more information on managing stress and how coaching could help you email gillie@themojocoach.co.uk or call 07525 201 206.
Last changed: Jun 06 2009 at 5:09 PM
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