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Women and our bodies |
| Posted on Jun 06 2009 |
One of the most significant relationships for most women nowadays seems to be the relationship they have with their bodies.
If we are perfectly honest, how many times a day do we think about our shape, size, and general appearance, and more importantly, how many times do we look at ourselves and think that we just don’t come up to scratch?
When we wake up and look in the mirror, every time we consider what we are going to eat, when we try on clothes, when we meet a new man, or even a friend we haven’t seen for a while. Too often our secret thoughts are "have I put on weight?", "am I too fat?", "does my bum look big in this?".
Dissatisfaction with our bodies seems to have become a national epidemic, with 9 out of 10 women unhappy with their bodies.
How did this happen?
Where has this come from?
There’s no doubt that this obsession with our bodies is partly fuelled by the tabloid magazines and press with headlines such as "How celebrity X went from a size 12 to a size 6 in two weeks….". It’s good publicity, it’s guaranteed headlines for fame-hungry celebrities looking to promote their latest film, album or reality TV career. And of course, it’s valuable column inches for the PR agent looking to get their client on the front page of the top weekly glossies.
But at what cost?
Do we now have an unrealistic perception of what is beautiful? Bombarded by the type of images that appear in beauty magazines, on billboard posters and as mannequins in shop windows, is it any wonder that when we look at our own "normal" naked bodies in the mirror, we wonder why we don’t quite measure up? Can you blame those in the public eye for going to such extreme measures to try to live upto these expectations?
It breaks my heart to see the latest celebrities, perfectly healthy-looking women stripping down to skeletal proportions, hip bones and collar bones protruding, in the quest for the so-called body beautiful.
But what is beautiful about being unhealthy and unhappy? As women, we need a certain proportion of fat to maintain our fertility levels, we need some of that fat to protect our vital organs, and in any case, what is attractive about having the body of a pre-pubescent boy?
Somehow we need to disengage from this nonsense and start to see ourselves in a new light. We need to start seeing ourselves in a positive light, looking in the mirror and noticing our uniqueness, our best features, the qualities that make us who we are and be proud of them, instead of trying to fit into someone else’s (possibly the fashion industry?) perception of what’s beautiful.
We are all different. How boring it would be if we all looked like the 7 foot mannequins that model the clothes in shop windows, or the half-starved Hollywood actresses, self-conscious in every they wear. Isn’t it more attractive, as well as enjoyable, to be comfortable in your own skin?
And men, you can help us too. You’re not stupid. Surely you can see that the models in the ad campaigns, on the front of your lad’s mags, they aren’t real. The images have been digitally altered, they have been airbrushed to look "perfect" and a very skilled photographer has taken hundreds of shots just to capture the ultimate image. They may as well be cartoon characters.
We, as women, have a responsibility to start telling ourselves that we are perfect just as we are. We have to start looking in the mirror and seeing the positives not the negatives, and stop comparing ourselves to these unrealistic images. But you guys can help us reinforce what true beauty is. The smile that lights up her face, the curve of her hip, and the slightly rounded tummy which makes her a woman.
The perfection lies in the imperfections, the unique characteristics we each possess. If we are constantly striving for perfection, we are just heading for a life of unhappiness. Perfection doesn’t exist, it’s an illusion, and until we start accepting ourselves as we are, we will never be at peace.
So when you’re heading to the beach this summer, filled with the negative thoughts that tend to plague us when we’re stepping into our swimwear, walk proud, remember what’s important and what’s just mental chatter you don’t need. I’m not suggesting that getting in shape isn’t a good idea. Of course, it will help to make the most of what you’ve got, but just as long as you have a realistic idea of what your shape is and can be.
Heal your relationship with your own body, and the relationship you have with food. Treat both with respect, and your true beauty will shine through.
Living on diet cokes and cigarettes may keep you skinny, but it isn’t going to make you look good. If anything, you’ll look older than your years, drawn, washed out and a sad example of vanity before sanity.
Follow a balanced diet of good, clean food, listen to your body and use it as fuel, not for dealing with any kind of emotions. Find out what satisfies your hunger, what foods make you feel good, and you’ll radiate from the inside out.
Cook some good nutritious food, get some carbs in you, and stop obsessing about your body. It’s boring, a waste of time, and surely there are more important things in life to focus on.
Last changed: Jun 06 2009 at 4:50 PM
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