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  • Haulwen Nicholas

Week 6 - Love-Cariad


This week is Valentine's Day and however you feel about this date the topic of love is everywhere.


What is love?


A human construct? A primeval need?


Love. Amour, Cariad, Liebe, Amore, Amor, liefde, kjærlighet, kärlek, rakkaus, grá, gràdh, etc.


Eight of the above I knew off the top of my head, the word for love in a foreign language. (it was a surprise to me too!)


When you see how a dog looks adoringly at its master, that is true love. They often say if you can get a person to look at you like a loyal collie does its master, then you have true love.


You see love throughout nature with birds that mate for life, for animals to their young, and to humans for each other.


It is so easy with the media today to focus on hate, self-loathing, anger, sadness, death and destruction, but what if this Valentine's Day we focused on love?


Not the soppy cheap chocolates and plastic roses type of love filling our shops, but a really deep meaningful love.


To love is not something confined to a partner, but it is much deeper than this. A connection not just physically, or emotionally, or mentally or logically - It's that kind of love that is a connection at such a deep level that it can take your breath away.


It can be love for your child, for a partner, for a lover, for a parent, for a friend or for a passion or an interest.


I read in a book recently about treating the thing you want to do most in your life like an illicit love affair. Because people having such affairs will find anyway possible to spend time with their illicit love. What if we did the same for the thing we say we really want to do - write that book, play a musical instrument, swim, run, get fit, cook, dance, sing, laugh, spend time with our children, our loved ones, etc.


What if we booked ourselves a hotel or a retreat away from the world to indulge in the thing we really want to do. So we can really love ourselves. Because love has to start with us, it has to begin with looking in the mirror and loving who we are, and then the world will love us back.


It has to start with us discovering our passion and joy in life and embracing the things we really truly want to do, just like an illicit affair, we can run off tell some white lies to make time for us and our passion. Like a teenage crush we can make time to give the interest we love some focus and attention.


But what about connections - we can love in other ways than just the love for our partner, or our children. We can gain a connectivity and deep meaning with friends, the ones you will curl up with to have deep and meaningful conversations into the middle of the night, the sort of love that feels like it should be illicit because of the deep connection we feel, yet will remain platonic.


What if this Valentine's Day we sent a text or a handwritten card to someone who has had an impact on our lives and tell them how we love them. Not in a sexual way, but in a way that is for you.


What if this Valentine's Day you focused on self-care and devoted the day to you?


What if this Valentine's Day you focused it on reconnecting with your passion?


Perhaps do something different, lie under the stars and love the life you live in now. Switch off the news, watch a movie that makes you laugh and do it all for you. Be in the moment, forget the past and the future and just be.


Buy yourself a bunch of daffodils or even two. Fill your home, with light, love and laughter.


Let love be your own construct, in your own way. Because how we love others, how we love our lives and how we love the world around us is completely and utterly unique to you.


Happy Valentine's Day


Send a note to someone today who has impacted your life, re-engage with a lost passion.


Llawer o gariad,


(Lots of love)


Haulwen



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Personal Development Coach & Ambassador for Psychologies Magazine 
Psychologies Magazine